


silent letters

by princevector



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Love Letters, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 03:05:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princevector/pseuds/princevector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{{ I'll believe it all <br/>There's nothing I won't understand <br/>   I'll believe it all<br/>I won't let go of your hand }}</p>
<p>Akaashi has a habit of writing letters that he never sends to Bokuto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	silent letters

_(I am your setter._

_For the longest time I struggled to put my faith in you, but now it all felt so wrong. You placed your faith in me and I failed to do the same. I worked hard for you and together we yielded some of the most astonishing results our school has seen in years. Isn’t that wonderful, Bokuto-san?_

_Our team is like a family. If one of us falls we all support each other. When we’re all down, we all support each other. Word has it that we’re known as a bunch of “noisy ass owls”.... Perhaps we’ve earned that partial reputation during our summer training camp. The others regard it as affection, but I recall a certain someone being the noisiest of the group.)_

Akaashi’s tired gaze drags from the paper to peer outside the classroom window. The sun’s up and its rays are peeking through the leaves of the tree that’s massive branches extend in front of the glass panels. It’s a nice day out and Akaashi would prefer to be out for a run than inside and listening to the teacher drone on about- what was it again?

Ah, history.

Coffee would be nice right about now… Akaashi’s mind drifts back to simplicity and his dark eyes go back to the paper in front of him. What was supposed to be class notes was instead a very messily written impromptu letter to Bokuto Koutarou. Why was I…

His eyes sleepily blink a few times, vision a bit blurry and he feels that he’s about to nod off before his unfixed gaze lands back on the paper laying on his desk. Eyes that glaze over neat handwriting that translated into unorganized thoughts… How did I accomplish that so absentmindedly, he wonders.

Akaashi twirls the pen in between his fingers again before steadying it, and putting the tip to paper. He doesn’t leave words unfinished, and puts his mind on finishing the letter over paying attention in class, an option he rarely takes (because Akaashi’s a good student, after all). He’s a little more alert know, the thoughts of coffee sending the imaginary scent wafting up his nose and sending sparks of electricity through and beneath his skin. Who know just the thought of your favorite beverage could instantly awaken a person?

_(Bokuto-san. You’re an incredible player, but you know that already… Hearing things like “I’m the strongest!” every day is a constant reminder in itself, I suppose. It’s a loud but incredibly comforting reminder. I guess you could say I’m impressed by your spirit, no matter how showy it may be at times… You really do keep us together as a team. We may be noisy, but we’ve come this far and nothing’s standing in our way, right?_

_Our way…_

_Tell me, what do you think about when we’re on the court together? Do you think about the moments that are nearly within our reach… How total victory slipped through our fingers last year? I think about our loss a lot. I think about how we came this close to being number one… We can become even stronger. People will become even more impressed with our team…_

_Right, Bokuto-san? )_

The pen lifts off the paper, light as a feather and Akaashi lets out a sigh that he’s been holding back. Class feels as if it’s been dragging on for ages all he wants is for the hour to pass. There’s a part of Akaashi that simply wants to go outside for a pleasant run… But that would mean missing practice. As the all-important setter of the team, there’s absolutely no way he’d miss practice, and he’d drag himself to the court even if he was utterly ill. He knows all too well Bokuto would fall apart without him on the team.

He’s not useless but I know he needs me.

Akaashi briefly wonders when he started to see Bokuto in a more romantic light. He’s always had a soft side for his friend so the realization comes as no surprise. Still…

He brings his pen back to paper and continues writing.

_(There are so many words I want to convey to you. My thoughts, my feelings… Maybe one day my voice will reach you. Not to say you don’t listen to me. You already do, all the time, and that makes me incredibly happy._

_But compared to the booming echoes of your voice, I’m merely an owlet who is only just learning how to let out a series of audible hoots. Isn’t that silly? I always think so highly of you, but there’s moments that I can’t help but wonder:_

_Where would I be without you?_

_There’s rumors, you know… People are saying that without me, you’d be utterly helpless. But those are nothing but lies. I know you better than anyone else. The boisterous captain of Fukurodani’s volleyball team, who enjoys nothing more than showing off his strength and bringing everyone together as a team, as a family._

_But you also like learning from others. That’s why you always ask for my opinion on absolutely everything, from your serves to your spikes. You like seeing others succeed… and that’s why you compliment my tosses. Even if I slip up, you smile and laugh and tell me “Don’t mind!” or “No worries! You’re doing great!”_

_Words are not complete without actions. You’re the kind of guy you ends a compliment with a hearty pat on the back or a friendly tap on the shoulder. It’s amazing… How your touch alone sends sparks underneath my skin and leaves me at a loss for words. It’s embarrassing, but I yearn for those touches more and more._

_It’s silly how much I just want to reach out for you hand and lace my fingers with yours. Our palms would probably be sweaty from practice, but I wouldn’t care in the slightest. So as long as I can feel the warmth of your hand pressed against mine, that’s all what matters._

_We’re in this together and I want to share this moment with you. The next time we win, which I swear upon my skills as a setter, we’d relish in a victory dance that could be expressed in loud cheers and group hugs, and we’d celebrate all night long._

_And maybe, just maybe, I’d…)_

With the sound of the class bell echoing throughout the halls, the signal that class was over ultimately ended in a mix of relief and disappointment for Akaashi. Relief that class was finally over for the morning, yet disappointment that he didn’t get to finish the letter.

‘Just another one for my desk drawer, I suppose…’  The thought passed by nonchalantly. Writing unsent letters to Bokuto was a new hobby of his and Akaashi would much rather keep it hidden from the rest of the team. His actions were pretty inconspicuous to begin with and while he was fairly confident they wouldn’t find out….

‘Better safe than sorry.’

Akaashi hastily closes his notebook, burying pages of words with it before standing up and grabbing his lunch. He’s reminded that Bokuto wanted to see him during lunch so he best figures it’s time to get that done…

When they meet Bokuto’s as energetic as ever, and when he’s happily munching on his lunch, Akaashi’s mind keeps reeling back to the letter he wrote during class. His dark eyes close and sometimes he envisions himself actually vocalizing these letters but it all proves too much and he opens his eyes again.

Bokuto’s staring at him, eyes filled with curiosity but his smile spells excitement and anticipation.

“Hey hey heeey, you’ve been spacing out there, Akaashi! I’ve been asking if you wanted to see my new and improved spike today!”

Akaashi opens and closes his mouth a few times, before nodding slowly. “Alright, I’ll be sure to check it out.”

His response is rewarded with a casual arm wrapped around his shoulders, and Akaashi stiffens underneath Bokuto’s touch. The warmth is pleasant but it doesn’t stop his heart from slowing its pace.

Once again his mind replays the letter’s words, and perhaps maybe, just maybe, that letter would have had a proper conclusion.

‘I’d tell you how I feel…?’

Akaashi shakes his head, sighing into his cup of coffee and unconsciously leaning into Bokuto’s touch. He doesn’t mean to tune out the other’s words but it’s become sort of a poor habit. At least he’s come up with a more settling answer to his own letter.

‘So simple… Perhaps some other day. But today is not that day.’

In that moment, Bokuto’s hands looked more inviting than ever.

 

 


End file.
